ok... so... i took the longest maternity leave in history right? i was gone for a year and 2 months... honestly, i didn't wanna come back but my body wasn't quite pole-ready, if u know what i mean. so i'm back in effect. straightening and organizing and doing what i do best... be awesome. there's a new guy who's in charge of the financial stuff and i was ensured that i would "love" him.... but he's old as fuck so that's strike 1. older? ok, not so bad. old as fuck? no... not my cup of tea. old ass men are usually douche bags and old ass women r either the best or the fuckin worst. aaaaaanyhoo. i get here and he's fairly nice.
so... about a week in, i realize that he has a way of asking me to do things or just a way of speaking to me that suggests that he thinks i'm brand new to this whole extra tough job of maintaining an office. (sarcasm. this shit is cake.) so, i'm thinking that maybe i'm trippin and i'm just having my guard up cuz he's old and i hate old ppl. but then he does things like asks me to do something on the computer and then stands looking over my shoulder as if i need to be supervised. also, he uses my desk as a place to think of his next move. like.... u have an office! a whole office! wtf r u doing right now?! he also forgets things and has on 2 occasions now, tried to blame me for things that he's forgotten or lost.
now, my other bosses have occasionally looked over my shoulder while i do something to see what steps i'm taking to get something done... usually because when i'm not here they don't wanna be lost and calling me for directions. but this fuckin guy!
idk if he's hypoglycemic or something, but he's constantly snacking on something in his office and he comes over to my desk to look over my shoulder and finalize his swallowing of these snacks in my fucking ear!!!! i must make this clear to everyone...
I HATE MOUTH NOISES!!!!! i hate to hear ppl chew, i hate smacking, i hate the sound of swallowing, i hate to hear ur tounge move around in ur mouth!!! he kills it!!! he comes over and in between words he's swallowing and just... UGH!!!! if u swallowed it, it's gone! if it's not gone, try eating less solids.
SOMEONE PUT THIS FUCKIN GUY IN A HOME AND REMOVE HIM FROM MY LIFE, DESK, PERSONAL SPACE FOREVER!!!!
bahahhaa...i hate the sound of swallowing
ReplyDeletei know. i thought about how that sounded when i wrote it... i should have said that i hate the sound of other ppl swallowing. lmao!
ReplyDelete