change

the world is sad..... my country is sad. we r called the united states of america... UNITED states.... that's a joke. apparently, we r totally incapable of getting away from stereo types. and i don't just mean the stereo typical behavior that we continuously display, i'm also talking about the inability to look at someone and not see someone else. to look at a black woman and not see "an angry black woman" to look at a black man and not see a "thug" to look at a white person and not see a racist or a bigot.... i'm not talking about the stupid generalities like "this certain race can't drive" or " this certain race has money" i'm talking about the kind of stereo typing that causes one person to instantly lose respect for another. listening to someone complain about a specific issue and writing if off as just another angry _______ or another bitter _______.
Dr. Martin Luther King spoke of ppl seeing one another for the content of character and not for the skin color on the outside..... this was 1963.... 47 year ago ppl. we've come so far but stayed in the same vehicles. we're not supposed to be more trusting of one group than another. we're not supposed to be hateful at all. how has this escaped us? how is it that we do things like give God praise.... and then say we'll only help those who look like us, talk like us or live where we live? how is it ok for someone to used their influence to spread negativity? and how is it ok to follow that hatred, judgment and negativity as if we have no mind of our own? how well do u sleep at night with hatred in your heart? how does negative completely outweigh positive?
i'm not saying we should trust everyone, but maybe the only way to start the change of stereo types is to stop living up to them. maybe the only way to start the change is to stop repeating them. does it make sense that children have negative opinions of opposite races? ppl say that we shouldn't talk negatively about overweight ppl or ppl with disabilities or even curse in front of our children.... yet it seems not to be a problem to put down whole race groups, whole classes, whole cultures right in front of their faces.
i think the first thing that we can do to change anything is to change ourselves. change how we live life, change how we think of others. instead of judging on sight, maybe we should get to know each other. i never want my son to have an issue with a different race. i never want him to avoid talking to or playing with another kid because of how they look. it's not how i was raised and it's not how i'm going to raise him. talk more, judge less.
i know, this is a lot of rambling and jibberish, but it's the nonsense in my head today. so.... change.... or start changing.... now, today, something.

esteem, value, worth, respect.....

i recently came across a video that a man was able to record of a young man attempting to steal his bicycle. the man walks up to the youngster and asks calmly "did u just cut that lock?" instead of feeling the shame and embarrassment that the young man should have felt, he responds by telling the owner of the bicycle "you better get outta here before you get beat up."..... the man insists on calling for the many security guards to do something, or at least, call the police. they do nothing. other young men (weather they know the thief or not isn't clear) come along and try, at first, to keep the owner from being assaulted by the thief, only to not truly back him up in his rant that this young man should have to pay for his damaged lock and someone should call the police. the man's point being: it doesn't matter if he caught the thief before he could get away with the bike. the thief's point being: he could have beat the owner up and stolen the bike anyway.....

now, i feel the need to make these facts known: the thief, the security guards and all bystanders were black. the owner/ victim was not (his face is never shown, but his hands color suggests that he was some other race besides black).

this video was posted as "hilarious" and all i felt was irritated and disgusted. (i am aware that there r worse videos online and i've seen some. this one was just so easily avoided that it made me HAVE to write this.)

REALLY MUTHA FUCKA??? THIS IS HOW U REPRESENT YOURSELF? U STEAL? C'MON SON!!! YOU'RE PATHETIC!!! AND THEN WHEN U FUCK UP AND CAN'T EVEN DO SOMETHING AS LAME-BRAINED AS STEALING A BICYCLE RIGHT, U THREATEN THE OWNER? THE OWNER WHO HAS EVERY RIGHT TO BEAT THE FUCK OUTTA U BUT DECIDES INSTEAD TO VIDEO TAPE UR COMPLETE IGNORANT AND SHAMEFUL BEHAVIOR!!! REALLY??? THIS SHIT WAS SO UNENTERTAINING AND SUCH AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT KIND OF GARBAGE PEOPLE R CAPABLE OF FINDING HUMOR IN IT WAS A DISGRACE! I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!.... OH WAIT..... I COULD TOTALLY BELIEVE IT. IT'S THE LEAST OF WHAT HAPPENS ON A DAILY BASIS. WOW FOLKS, R U THAT PATHETIC? THAT BROKE? OR IS IT SOMETHING DEEPER??? I THINK SO...

This video was just a small example of the lack of self-esteem, self-value, self-worth and self-respect ppl have for themselves. and what does that do in turn? it comes out in the for of no sense of esteem, value, worth or respect for other ppl and their belongings. so sad. it's so sad that a man just wanted to ride his bike to the store and THAT couldn't go smoothly. it's sad that he was respectful in the way he addressed a criminal and got such an ugly response. and it is so sad that ppl stood around and did nothing... making comments like "a nigga coulda beat u up and taken the bike" REALLY? THAT'S ALL U HAVE? comments made about this video like "a real nigga woulda taken his bike and his camera" REALLY PPL??? i had this ultimate hope deep down that this young man would see this video and feel like the idiot he portrayed himself to be. but i knew, by the comments made and by the "hilarious" posting that he wouldn't. he, like many other fools caught on video would find some way to feel pride or satisfaction behind what he had done. calling himself a "real nigga"..... you're NOTHING sir.
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. A WASTE OF SKIN, TALENT, MONEY, BREATHE, LIFE. U R THE REASON THAT MEN, LIKE THE ONE U ATTEMPTED TO STEAL FROM WILL HAVE TROUBLE LOOKING AT ANOTHER YOUNG MAN OF YOUR COMPLEXTION AND NOT SEEING YOU. YOU R THE REASON THAT SOME MEN AND WOMEN OF YOUR COMPLEXTION DEVELOP A SELF-HATRED THAT TAKES YEARS TO CURE. YOU R THE REASON THAT THERE WILL BE MORE YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN OF YOUR COMPLEXTION THAT WILL FOLLOW THE SAME PATH... THE PATH TO BEING A "REAL NIGGA".
WHAT HAPPENED TO WANTING TO BETTER OURSELVES? (I'M NOT JUST ADDRESSING PPL OF COLOR) WHAT HAPPENED TO WANTING TO MOVE UP IN LIFE, NO MATTER HOW HARD IT MAY BE? WHAT HAPPENED TO WANTING TO SHOW OTHERS THAT, THO IT ISN'T THE EASY WAY, THE RIGHT WAY CAN BE PROSPEROUS? WHAT HAPPENED TO PPL WANTING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE, INSTEAD OF JUST A DOLLAR? I'M SO DISAPPOINTED IN US... PEOPLE I MEAN. I'M SO SAD THAT THIS IS WHO WE R. BECAUSE SOME MAY SAY THAT THIS IS BLACK PPL, BUT WE ALL KNOW THAT THERE R PPL FROM EVERY RACE AND NATIONALITY THAT BEHAVE IN THE HEARTLESS MANNER. STOP ACTING LIKE IT'S SOMEONE ELSE... IT'S ALL OF US. I'M DONE PPL. BECAUSE I KNOW I'M RIGHT AND I KNOW THAT THIS WILL GO IGNORED AND PPL WILL MOVE ON WITHOUT ANOTHER THOUGHT. ALL I ASK IS THAT WE ALL START BEING CONSCIOUS OF WHO WE ARE AND HOW WE TREAT, BOTH OURSELVES AND EACH OTHER.

racial self-consciousness

living in orange county for 2 years now, i've totally fallen in love with the weather, the beach, the atmosphere..... but one thing that grows more and more saddening is the completely self-conscious ppl here.

i've noticed that the very few black ppl that i've met here (both from here and not) r completely self-conscious about the fact that they're black. they seem to feel like it's the only thing that they should talk about. they talk about how it's so great to see more black ppl when they do, then they totally feed into black stereo types when around their white friends... (let's put that on hold for a second while i get into some of the white ppl around here)

being the only black person in a group of white ppl has never been uncomfortable for me. i'm just a person, they're just ppl... what's to talk about? well, it seems that a lot of white ppl feel like they r unable to just have regular conversation with or around a black person. for instance: does a white person who can dance say "i got moves for a white girl/ boy" to other white ppl? i don't think so. does a white person make jokes about a person liking chicken to another white person who is craving kfc or el pollo loco? more than likely not. do white ppl start naming all of the black ppl that they know or start talking about how they used to date a black person to other white ppl? no.... no they don't. do white men ask if a white girl's eyes r really a certain color or is their hair real or "extensions"? not at all. so y is it the only thing that u can think of to say to me or any other black ppl that u meet? r u under the impression that we r unable to have regular conversation? r u thinking that we're going to feel left out if u don't constantly express ur awareness that we r of a different race? well, if that's what u thought, then ur wrong. WE'S PEOPLE! c'mon son. if i gave a fuck that one of the girls u fucked a long time ago was the same color as me, then i'd ask. and if i was unaware that white ppl could dance then i'd make a comment. sorry to disappoint u but none of that impresses me. oh, and isn't the colonel white? so how come the only reason i like the chicken is cuz i'm black? oh wait, it's not. i like it cuz it's fuckin delicious. i used to be a really good sport about these things. i used to figure that it was a blind ignorance that came from under-exposure of different races. but now it's just a little old. black ppl r everywhere. stop acting brand new. and definitely stop letting me know that i'm black by attempting to talk about black things or "talk black" i speak english, fairly proper english at that. I CAN UNDERSTAND U AND UR SUBJECT MATTER. and if i can't relate, it doesn't mean that we can't hang. it means i know some different kinds of ppl. remember this when ur around black ppl. u don't need to let us know that u know ur colors. it's cool. we're good.

now, back to black. lol... i've said this before and i'd like to say it again..... WE CAN SEE U!!!!!! ppl can see ur skin and they know ur black before u start beginning sentences with "i'm black...." and "ur white....." y is it so hard for u to blend? and if u came out here to be among those u feel more comfortable around, then y make them feel so ill-at-ease around u. if a white person constantly said, "u black ppl....." there would be more than trouble. so, just be. just exist and succeed and make things happen and don't worry about the fact that some may not look at u as just a person. it's a fact that never dies. yes, when ur loud it's judged differently than the countless annoying white girls who talk equally as loud but "they're just having fun". and yes, when u have larger assets, it's downplayed because ur black and it's kinda expected. but really, when does that effect ur ability to reach ur goals? maybe closed minded white ppl can create obstacles, but i'm sure if there r as many black inventors, business men/women and leaders in the world, it's possible to get passed them. so fuck the bullshit and trying to force someone to think ur awesome.... just know u r and keep it pushin.

i think ppl r just too self-conscious. if ur a white person and ur around black ppl, u can't stop being and talking like urself because u think it'll make them more comfortable or it'll make u look more open-minded. and if ur black, leave it at that. ur skin color is not ur mind, or ur ability. it's not who u r, it's what u r. does that make sense?

character has no color and when u tie ur character to ur skin it loses it's ability to shine on its own.