LBC GAY PRIDE FESTIVAL!!!!

mmkay, so my BFF Joshikins aka J aka Josh Hotness.... sorry, i got a little side-tracked. anyhoo.... Joshikins and i attended the annual Gay and Lesbian Pride festival in Long Beach, CA for the 4th time just this passed weekend and it was great. there were costumes and drag queens and men wearing mesh shirts. there were also a large amount of men wearing spandex short shorts with sneakers.. yea, and of course the abnormally large amount of women that look like men. We watched Joshikin's brother Donovan uh?... Well Donovan, while he did an AMAZING show covering tina turner songs. That was really great. Before Donovan's show, there was another young man who had a great voice but insisted on covering songs which he did NOT know the words to... irritating. we left and moved on to the hip hop tent. the tent where most of the negros like to hang out. Pretty good rap music with a wide variety of "nigga-looking" studs (idk y i put " " around that, those r my words lmao!) any way. There was dancing, loud talking, hood bitches with the permanent stink-eye, studs grabbing their crotches (which i will never understand since they aren't grabbing anything but their pants), the occasional aroma of weed in the air and the constant smell of cigarettes. We enjoyed that for a minute then decided to take a walk down to the latino tent.... but that was retarded crowded, so we bypassed it. We then turned back around and heard that the hip-hop tent was playing the song that Joshikins has recently fallen in love with "toot it and boot it". By the time we got over to the tent, the song had be over for about 20 minutes (we don't walk fast for anyone) and we settled on the opposite side of the tent as the first time and it was slightly less crowded but more cigarette smoking (eww.... only cuz Joshikins has asthma and i'm pregs) i was also able to get a better view of the ppl that were in the tent. I noticed that with black girls (most, not all) if they weren't studs, they were really hood-rat-ish.... does that make sense? what i mean is, they looked hard, like life beat the fuck out of them.... and their wardrobes.... and their shoes... and their weaves. Yea... so, that was interesting. It seems as though the drag queens have much more style, self-confidence, better bodies and sense of what looks good and what looks a hot ass mess than the lesbian black girls. Duh right? they're drag queens. even still, if ur not a stud, i don't understand the inability to not look so hard like u'll cut a bitch all the time. Latina and white "lipsticks" seem to look like ladies. there's a softness to them that the black girls just don't have.
Rambling? i know... it's a problem i'm working on....
All in all, we had a GREAT time. it was fun and free (not the cover, it cost $20 to get in) there was no real serious judgement going on. by that i mean, ppl weren't judging each other for being masculine or feminine, gay, straight or bi, ppl weren't feeling the need to tone their personalities down. it was beautiful. it's the one place, for some of these ppl, where they can dance with, kiss, hold hands with or just cuddle with their significant others without the stares and the comments or feeling self-conscious. it's a really fun, really open, really beautiful place to be. it really is. and although i'm not gay, i'm glad to know the gay ppl that i do (especially Joshikins) and to be able to support them by just attending and enjoying the festival. i've gone 4 years straight, and i plan on attending every year as long as Joshikins would like to go.
One Heart! One World! One Pride!..... That's their slogan, not mine.... but it works.

secret pregnant love... LMFAO!

mmkay, i've been pregs for 15 and a half weeks now (woo hoo!!) and i'm still working at my job at night as a dancer.... that's exotic dancer for those of u who r wondering... stripper, adult entertainer... whatever. anyhoo, i've gained some weight, but still don't really have an actual belly. my pregnancy line (the dark line up the center of my stomach) is well defined and a definite give away, in my opinion. my boobs are more full and my nipples/ areolas r much darker (only slightly larger). my hips have gotten a little more womanly and my ass has obtained a nice curve.... still no customers have said anything. i know a lot of the girls know, not just the ones that i've told, because it's obvious to a woman. but there r a lot of men that have children so i'm sure that they've seen a pregnant woman at least once in their lives and it makes me wonder if they're oblivious, or r they into it and not wanting to admit it?.... hmmm.

i've done dances and approached the tip rail and noticed a gaze here and there at my stomach and the tiny pooch that i've developed and was at first very self-conscious and embarrassed. now it just makes me wonder, "do they know?" there's always the quick look back into my eyes like they don't want me to know that they were peeking at my lovely mommy lump (so calling it that from now on!). and i always smile seductively and continue with the show. but sometimes i wanna smile and ask "whatcha lookin at?"

well, i'm rambling again, as i tend to do. my questions r these: do these men have a like/ desire for hot pregnant women? if so, do they know it, or are they unconscious of their interest in the body of a lady with a bun in the oven? also, how open would they be to having dances from me if they were told "hey, i'm due at the beginning of november"? would being more open with the clients increase or decrease my money? and finally, should i explore the world of the pregnant fetish? it's a very popular world and i feel like i'm hot enough to have a website...... what if i had a pregnant fetish site?

hmmm the nonsense that flows thru my head......

new respect for Brandy (not her hair)

ok, so i totally blasted the singer turned rapper Brandy/ Bran Nu for her MONSTROSITY of a hair doo. and although i TOTALLY stick by that blast (girl, seriously, u need to call someone different to fix that mess), i have a new respect for the young lady. i knew the girl could sing, i mean, how could u not know that? but i recently went on a search for more clips of her bitch ass little brother (we WILL be talking about him soon), and found her collection of videos of her singing in her bathroom. HOLY SHIT! now, i understand that she's been sticking to her family and trying to gain independence as well, but maybe she should call beyonce and ask for more than hair advice. i cannot imagine y she doesn't display the true level of talent that she has in her songs. she is AMAZING. truly amazing. u know? i don't know what it is. her voice is beautiful and unique and she totally has talent. maybe it's the song choices? maybe the timing? maybe it's the fact that she did a show called moesha? or the fact that her whack ass brother is riding her coattails and she lets him? (i truly can't stand that bitch ass nigga). idk man, i really cannot figure it out. i know there r other ppl that can sing and all that bullshit, but someone who is this talented, connected and real, should be bigger..... uh oh! i just had a thought... IT'S THE HAIR!!! first it was non-stop braids (including the awful crochet braids *gag*), and now it's a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad weave..... i think that's what it is! somebody give me her number cuz i need to set up a lunch date with this woman and have a talk about what all that up top is about, and what it should be. thank u!

y do ppl associate body parts and plastic surgery with intelligence and ability? y is it that a beautiful woman or a woman with a boob job or any other work done is automatically called a bimbo, an idiot, stupid or even slutty? y is it that the women who decide to alter their appearance r put in the category of helpless little ladies who need to have their hands held? and more importantly, who put them there?
ahhh the different possibilities....
1: the men who can't have them: oooh! talkin shit am i? not so much. what i mean is the men who r upset that these women don't give them the time of day (for whatever reason) and instead of moving on and not letting that phase them, they feel the need to insult them and try to get their self-esteem down. like when ppl say "she needs to be taken down a notch" hm. it reminds me of young, what i like to call, niggas, who try to talk to u and when u give them no time the suddenly have things to say like "fuck u then bitch!" and "u ain't that fly anyway!" or the insult ur physical attributes like (i'll use examples used on me, because i don't have any work done) "u ain't got no ass anyway!" or "that's y u got little titties!" my response is usually to just keep it pushin. they've just let me know that i made a good decision. but anyway, i'm rambling. these men and their inability to land a woman who has physically modified herself to perfection (or at least her idea of perfection) end up with a bitter taste in their mouth. and attack the characters of them. and if they have landed one, and she happens to not be very bright, they stereo type instead of thinkin "hmm, maybe a woman who looks like that would have to be an idiot to be interested in me." sorry guys, i had to say it.

2: the men who've only allowed themselves to see and get to know the physical: some men think that a woman is intellectually challenged because all they've done is look at her and tell her how beautiful she is. they've only tried talking about subjects that they r comfortable with, they've only asked questions that they know the answer to..... maybe if u looked at her and listened to her, u'd find that she has some interesting things to say. maybe if u let her ask u questions or saw the intelligence in other subjects that she knows a lot about, u'd see that she's not that dim-witted. i have had this happen so many times: i'm talking to someone and in the middle of my thought, the middle of a sentence they totally interrupt with " u're so pretty" or " u r so beautiful" or " i can stare at u all day"... y is that a compliment when ur being rude? y is it ok to interrupt someone with ur penis? that's what ur doing. choosing not to listen and instead whipping ur dick out to show me that i make it hard. seriously, having little in common with a woman is not a reason to talk down to her or to insult her. she more than likely doesn't to the same to u, and if she does, she probably has the same complaints as me, that u don't listen, ur kind of boring cuz u stay on the same subjects and ur rude for interrupting all the time. think about it guys. maybe she's not as impressed with u either.

3: jealous women: uh oh! well, i hate to say it, but some women don't like to see another woman with confidence. most women with plastic surgery have and display a high level of confidence... that's a crime. instead of appreciating a woman who holds her head high and obviously feels good about herself, these women take it as a threat and try to, well, take her down a notch. sad, but true. i want to know what ppl think about the successful lawyers, doctors, nurses, entrepreneurs and executives that have had work done.... usually these women say things like "she must have slept her way to the top" or "she must know someone". this sucks the most because every successful woman, physically altered or not, opens the door a little more for more women to be taken seriously.

i personally think that it is important for both men and women to take care of themselves in whatever way they see fit. weather that means simple grooming, or glamming yourself up is up to the individual. we should also respect each other. those who go the extra mile shouldn't knock those who decide to take the simpler route and vise versa. in other words, do u and don't get caught up in what others r doing, unless ur going to congratulate them on their success. i hope that all the beautiful and physically altered women out there who understand where i'm coming from and have run into the same stereo types, keep moving up. being underestimated is very powerful if u use it in ur favor. and i wish u all luck. for those who choose to label, i hope that u realize that maybe u should check ur mirror and find out y it's ok to judge a book by it's cover or to stereo type. also, i'd like all of u to analyze ur lives and figure out if there is something u can do to change what is probably the natural flow of ur thought process. thank u

BEWARE THE BITCHES

So, let's be real ppl. i'm a dancer at night (not for much longer, but it's been 3 years), and i love it... for the most part. But in my 3 years, i've met some great ppl, some weirdos, a couple of crazies and the occasional asshole. i've exhausted myself trying to understand the many different minds that walk into the door and i've come to the conclusion that i truly don't care to break down the personality possibilities of our clients. Having said that, i cannot seem to wrap my head around the different Fuckin retards that i work with.

I haven't quite gone to the trouble of breaking them all down into categories, but i have noticed that age has absolutely NOTHING to do with the amount of common sense a person has. There are 2 types of girls that i absolutely LOATHE:

THE FAKES- the girls who r nice to everyone... no, scratch that.... the girls who r over-the-top about being friends with others with the "i love u" and "this is one of my best friends" and my favorite "you're so fuckin cool" and then they talk behind the same "friend's" back, tell personal business to customers, steal things from them, turn others against them and practice an over-all HATERIFIC way of being a "friend". these girls often say that ppl don't like them or ppl stop hanging with them because they're "jealous" or some other nonsense excuse. BITCH PLEASE!

THE FRIENDS OF THE FAKES: the girls who KNOW DAMN WELL that their "friends" r fuckin phonies and still fuck with them. they're followers! still hang out with them and have no good reason for doing so. these girls usually have experienced the fakeness first hand and instead of stepping back (like a smart person) and saying "sorry girl, we have fun, but ur on some other shit" they fall victim over and over again and want ppl to feel sorry for them... HELL TO THE NO!!!! YOU STUPID FUCKS R SETTING URSELVES UP! NO PITTY, NO ADVISE FOR U. BECAUSE UR TOO WEAK TO SOLVE THE EASIEST PROBLEM IN THE WORLD. these girls r usually pretty shallow and also have low self-esteem. they feel the need to be around the pretty girls that everyone likes, not realizing that most of the ppl who "like" her, won't chill with or be close to her because they see that she's worthless. at any rate, the Friends of the Fakes, being the followers that they r, either get fed up and start hanging on the coattails of a real bitch LIKE ME, (which doesn't work out well with me specifically, cuz i don't have time for needy ass ppl in my life.) or they end up being just as fake and retarded as their "friend".

i lied, there's another kind of girl i hate...

THE MISERABLE AND SEARCHING FOR COMPANY: these girls r usually always wasted and looking for someone to go out with. the trick to separating these from the girls that r simply party girls is actually getting to know them. it sux, but i've done it. these girls will never want you to be happy. they will never want u to make new friends, find a boyfriend, break up with a shitty boyfriend, start a new chapter in your life, stop partying so much to focus on important things and will do whatever it takes to keep u on a lower and terribly unhappy level. u will notice that they congratulate u with a hint of bitterness in their tone, they will tell u y it's not a big deal to do stupid things like drive drunk, have one-night-stands with strangers... repeatedly, or to ignore your responsibilities to hang out. they will have some kind of "i told u so" or "i'm glad this happened" after tragedy strikes u. they will make u feel bad about bettering yourself. watch out for these girls because they ease their way into ur life and seem like fun-loving well put together young ladies, until u open up and let them into your business. then it's all about giving you advise... although they don't really seem to be in the position to advise ANYONE. These r the girls that i HATE THE MOST. THEY R THE WORST KIND OF PPL AND SINCE THEY R PIECES OF SHIT, THEY WILL TRY THEIR VERY BEST TO GET U DOWN TO THEIR LEVEL... RATHER THAN GET UP TO YOURS

BEWARE THE BITCHES PPL. I'M SURE I'LL HAVE MORE TO SHARE ABOUT THE REAL DANGERS OF THE STRIP CLUB... THE WHACK ASS DANCERS YOU'RE SURE TO RUN INTO.

Brandy's Weave... it's Bad.... Really Bad

ok, i have this obsession with a few physical things: boobs, booties, small feet (don't ask) and HAIR!!!! i totally obsess over hair and the different varieties that one can choose from.... now, having said that, i realize that, like any other accessory or cosmetic, hair changes and maintenance costs money and can be pretty expensive. weather it be products, styling or actual hair. i do think that even a broke girl can be fly if she takes matters into her own hands and learns how to do her doo to her liking. now, for those that r with the funds to maintain a magnificent hair game, i do not understand y they choose not to.... i have this LOVE for women who rock fantasticly fly wigs and weaves and even more of an appreciation for those who rock it, admit it and swear by it. my top wig/ weave loves? WENDY WILLIAMS!!!, TYRA BANKS, BEYONCE (now, not while with destiny's child), WENDY RACQUEL WASHINGTON.... um.... JANET JACKSON..... i can't think of more, but #'s 1,2 and 4 r my absolute favorites, in that order. they've all come a ways from not the best weaves, or bad wigs to phenomenal hair! KUDOS!

NOW... i do not take too kindly to women who have more than enough money and connections to obtain and maintain a nice head of hair.... BRANDY? WHAT IS GOING ON??? i watched this show: Brandy and Ray J: Family Business, for the first time on, i think saturday this week. i was thoroughly disappointed! i haven't seen brandy in a while and when her las album came out (something about a moon?) which i LOVED, i noticed there was something odd about her hair. but i truly didn't give a fuck because, i just liked some of the songs and whatever was going on on her head was a leap upward from the crochet braids she insisted on wearing in her moesha days.
Well, i asked a few of my fb buddies about the " i have on a wig and i colored in the front edges with a sharpie" look, and it was confirmed to be a "lace front weave"... this is wrong!!! BRANDY! I'M REACHING OUT TO U! HEAR MY CRIES!!!!
PLEASE have a talk with one of the women i named in paragraph 1! PLEASE! and maybe start surrounding urself with more ppl that will keep it real with u! my god! these ppl who see ur hair and let u think u look fly! they r all just terrible! ugh!

PS: BANGS!!!!!!!

Ok, my rant is over... for now. i hope that Brandy, or one of my favorites, or someone who knows Brandy will read this or hear about it or SOMETHING and there is a change... because there IS room for change!

RACIAL RETARDATION

ok, i am about done and tired of racial retardation! to some of the negros i know, please stop pointing out that ur black. i can see u nigga! and stop telling ppl that they're racist when they're not interested in hearing about how ur black and how that, in turn, makes u a victim! ur not! (this is an actual case, not for all) and white ppl. u don't have to talk to me different because i'm black! i am american! i don't only know phrases like "what up?" or "chillin" and i do not appreciate the accent change to make u sound more "down"! oh, and i don't think that having black friends, or being from the hood or liking to fuck niggas make u black.... i think ur skin's still white after that. and please ppl, stop telling me i'm white cuz i'm not ignorant or ghetto, and stop tellin white folks that they're black because they r.

at the end of my day, it comes down to this: we r never going to be seen as competent ppl or even as more that just black or white, if we keep hiding behind our color or using it as a crutch... white ppl know some white ppl that they can't stand, and the same goes for black ppl, so y should we group ourselves? insecurity? what? c'mon son!

miley cyrus pole danced!..... NOT!!!!

i stumbled upon a video that says that miley cyrus (idk how to spell her name) was pole dancing on the teen choice awards..... obviously i had to check it out. i was thoroughly disappointed. a platform was with a pole on it was rolled out and she basically held onto the pole while they rolled it across the stage and then stepped off. this was responded to with comments like "mylee ur a fuckin slut", "she's setting a bad example. lol, she pole danced" umm... i actually do pole dance... and no, she wasn't. she was holding her balance. and pole dancing doesn't make u a slut. i know plenty of sluts who can't even do one trick. also, i bet none of these ppl know that mylee's songs r played and danced to in strip clubs. ha! also, poles r used in regular night clubs by gogo dancers who do not take their clothes off. hm. also, pole dancing is slowly being considered a sport and is more a display of body strength, grace and flexibility. it's even being considered for the olympics. so she's a slut because she used a prop on stage where she actually gave a great performance? ok... how many girls will become strippers because of this performance? none. how many will like her more/ less? none. let's be real, ppl like to judge cuz they're whack and they need something to make them feel better. C'MON SON!!!

I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE!!!

lmfao! ok, so, i have a slight obsession with big booties... i like big butts and i cannot lie!.. anyhoo i was watching some good ol' fashion ass clappin videos on youtube, and i came across a vid about buffy the body being on tyra. CLICK! and buffy says that she was 119, at 5'7".... (pre pregnancy, i was 117 at 5'6") and she didn't like being thin. so she went to a nutritionist who gave her a list of foods to eat and exercises to do to enhance her lower half. of course, she says that initially she just ate the foods and was getting big all over, blah blah blah, did crunches, yadda yadda... and it made me think "hmmm" i think i'll modify my diet and do ass-enhancing exercises (after the baby of course) and try to get a booty of my own so i can stop watchin these videos and just clap my ass in the mirror instead. ha! that's the new plan. cuz i actually do like being thin, i just want my ass/hips to not be so..... minimal. i also thought to myself...." really buffy? a nutritionist?" idk yall, but imma try and get an ass out of this baby weight and keep it.
oh! i almost forgot the real point in me writing this. lmao! ok, so, this video was accompanied by comments (that r pretty typical) saying that black men don't like skinny girls, and black men only like girls with big booties, and also, white men don't understand big booties and therefore don't like them..... not true at all. in fact, i say UH-UH! hahahahaha! black men liked me at my thinest, no booty and all. and although i never had a large ass, i know some girls who do, and they get mad love from the white guys. seriously ppl, even the blackest man can appreciate a beautiful woman, curvy or not. and the whitest man can appreciate a woman's curves. stop stereo typing everyone to make u feel better. whoever is gonna like u, will like u. just to be real..... ok, that's all. that's what i wanted to address.

REALLY? R WE THAT SURPRISED?

MMMMKAY! so, there's all this nonsense and judgement going on with the whole, what's her name? heidi montag? getting plastic surgery and whatnot. ppl were, before this, on all the other laguna beach/ the hills stars dicks about partying and having fun.... REALLY? R WE THAT SURPRISED? c'mon ppl! they're actually typical rich kids from the oc! yes, they were so sweet and so much more tame when we first met them..... WHEN THEY WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL AND STILL LIVED AT HOME!!!! all the moves being made by these kids would have been made even if we didn't have cameras floating around them nonstop. had heidi gotten a career in some other (not in the spotlight) field and made good money, u best believe that broad would have been lifting, pinning, injecting and implanting all over the place... and then everyone would have called her a typical oc and/or hollywood blonde. right? let's be real. there r girls her age that look like her or who've had worse work done... it's not new. leave that bitch be. if she likes it, then i love it. and all the other kids who "changed" because of the show.... go meet the kids that were in high school with them and see if there's not drugs, alcohol, parties and club, boob jobs and botox and weaves galore!!! please, stop acting so brand new folks! i live in oc, the most common graduation gift for girls is a boob job... and heidi's wrong for making cheese and then using it how she wants? get off her dick, she's a grown ass woman just like the other millions of girls who have had the same, similar or even more work done. ok, that's all.